The Drama Llama is Loose!
The Musical
With the successes of human technology, it would appear that drama has gone from an art form waged in amphitheaters to a more virulent strain commonly witnessed on the internets. When the first bacteria called the second bacteria a "total fuking noob that need's 2 be shot", everyone and everything should have assumed that it would eventually lead to the daily and deadly games of hot, steamy, forum whining. Unsurprisingly, this humorous art that preys on the emotions of the emotionally unstable has transcended its way into computer gaming. Knowing this site's primary content, it should be no surprise that this took place in Warcraft III, but for all intensive purposes, anyone with a technological pulse can appreciate what I am about to show you.
Before going further, it is probably necessary to shower a pint of background information for you to catch my drift. MUGARO, my good friend from the Warcraft III General Discussion board on the Battle.net forums, set out with pestilence in mind. Using his savvy and the help of a friend's account within the clan known as "The New Rebel Alliance" (most commonly known for being a collection of kids with no life), he single-handedly crippled the clan and kicked all eighty-two of its unprotected members. Former clan members displaced by the horrible events of Hurricane MUGARO decided to attack the cause rather than the constituency that contributed to the slow response time which shattered so many lives. By the end of the day, MUGARO was receiving abhorrent death threats (yes, death threats) for which he had no legitimate reason to deserve. From the liberator himself:
" The noobs of TNRA "traced" my IP and found me in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Despite me telling them I live in Salt Lake City, Utah, they persist that they're going to New Jersey to "teach me a lesson"."
How could a wonderful man simply be handed this cavalcade of dark thoughts and even more horrible potential actions? I mean, he only destroyed one gaming clan. Dateline Ghetto went undercover to discover the cause. It started off simple enough, and even though I forgot to record the beginning of the chat log, I'm pretty sure I was a total asshole to someone.
And then I met him. 13lacknight. That's with a '13' because it looks like a 'B', and even though he never mentioned it, it was fairly obvious that the '13' stands for "THE 13ADASS 13lacknight." From this point hereafter, 13lacknight will be mentioned with the words THE 13ADASS 13lacknight. Now, you may believe I have spiced up the lack of coherency within these chat logs for ratings gold, but I swear to you, on my life and my mother's, that these chat logs are verbatim. But anyway, let's dig into the spoiled meat and rotten potatoes, shall we?
13lacknight.: lol
13lacknight.: !exile GHETTo_oVERLORD
GHETTo_oVERLORD: LIKE I CARE.
13lacknight.: !shitlist GHETTo_oVERLORD
13lacknight.: wtf
GHETTo_oVERLORD: prolly [!ban]
13lacknight.: no ace son that bot
GHETTo_oVERLORD: is the choice [you are looking for]
13lacknight.: HAHAHAHA
13lacknight.: UR
13lacknight.: A
13lacknight.: MUSOLIM FUCK
Apparently, THE 13ADASS 13lacknight recognizes that the Warcraft III clan which I am leader of is simply known as the "Jihad." Ironically enough, this name was actually derived from a "forum Jihad" I indirectly started towards my now-enemies at Special Olympics Discussion Forum Blizzforums.com. If you haven't given them hell already, go ahead and do it. If my clan name is "Jihad", I must be a MUSOLIM FUCK.
13lacknight.: FUCKING SAND NIGGER
GHETTo_oVERLORD: yeah
GHETTo_oVERLORD: and you’re in a clan
13lacknight.: BUSH COMING 2 FUCK UR FAMILY UP
Look, Bush already fucked up my family by driving my dad batshit every time he says a word and employing a tax system that benefits the rich oil-slathered vikings of the world. This is the same guy that stated the Avian Flu was unlike any natural disaster we've had to face and then compared it to a forest fire in his very next breath. If anything, that dumbass has already fucked my mother, father, brother, nonexistant sister, and two cats. It's not worth mentioning.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: that just got destroyed
13lacknight.: HAHAH
GHETTo_oVERLORD: by a 15-year old
13lacknight.: GOOD 1
GHETTo_oVERLORD: what’s your point
13lacknight.: IN 2 WEKK
13lacknight.: WE BACK 2 NORMAL
13lacknight.: ALREADY MORE HTEN HALF CLAN HAS REJOINED
13lacknight.: UR CHIEF OF SHIT SAND NIGGER CLAN
13lacknight.: EVEN CLANLESS
13lacknight.: I OWN YOU
Even after constant spelling errors, a demonstration of total racism, and the fact his clan was destroyed by total stupidity, I'm pretty sure THE 13ADASS 13lacknight still owns me.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I have a friend for you.
GHETTo_oVERLORD:
I was going to surface MUGARO for this very instance, but unfortunately, he was banned from the temporary chat room Clan TNRA had set up. Sad times.
13lacknight.: FUCKIGN MUSLIM SCUMN
GHETTo_oVERLORD: keep going...
13lacknight.: FUCKIGN JEW
Yes, because, as most people know, those of the Muslim faith also have a dual religious devotion to Judaism! Write it down: I'm a Muslim Jew. After all, my first college history paper was on the very groups of Jewish Israeli Muslims who are known for their wishing of death to America, Israel, and the Arab world. After all, is it any surprise that Jerusalem is the accepted religious capital of both faiths? Don't worry, it gets much worse.
13lacknight.: loll
13lacknight.: and what u gonna do
13lacknight.: fucker
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Not a whole lot.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Just laugh.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: So, what makes a Blac Knight so special?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Not a Black Knight, but a Blac Knight.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Or is that a Black Night?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I’m confused.
Apparently, pointing out that someone misspelled their name makes them very VERY angry. Now if the Detroit Lions could channel this type of passion they might win more than five games a season. I had more difficulty trying to figure out what he was saying than mounting a comeback, so I just decided to let him run with it, and he apparently ran with it to a nearby gas station where he lit himself on fire.
13lacknight.: STFU
13lacknight.: U FUCKING MUSLIM
13lacknight.: BUSH COMING 2 A TOWN NEAR U
13lacknight.: WE WILL NUKE U
13lacknight.: AND UR COUNRTY
13lacknight.: ALL TRACED OF YOU
13lacknight.: WICH DIRTYED THE HEEART
13lacknight.: SHAL BE BURNED
13lacknight.: U FUCKING ARAB FUCK
13lacknight.: I HOPE CHINA INVADES U
13lacknight.: FUCKING JEW
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Yes, and why would China invade us, Mr. Current Events?
13lacknight.: SUCH WEAK FUCK
13lacknight.: I ALONE WOULD KILL U ALL
13lacknight.: FUCKING SAND NIGGER
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Can you even think straight?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: That’s usually a prerequisite for intelligent thought.
13lacknight.: CAN U LOOK AT UR FEETS WITH OUT TOUCHING THE FLOOR WITH UR BIG NOSE U FUCKIGN JEW
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Oh, so now I’m a MUSLIM Jew. (I didn't catch his first instance professing my heathenistic Muslim Jewwery.)
13lacknight.: YE
GHETTo_oVERLORD: That’s pretty deep. -.-
13lacknight.: U FUCK JEWS
13lacknight.: UR TRAITROR
13lacknight.: 2 EVERYTHING
13lacknight.: KILL UR-SELF SAND NIGGER
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Explain to me how I’m a Muslim Jew.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I wanna hear this one.
13lacknight.: I’m SO HAPPY JEWS FUCK U UP
13lacknight.: HAS IF I HAD SUMTIHNG 2 EXPLAIN 2 YOU
13lacknight.: U WONT UNDERSTAND SHIT
13lacknight.: U FOLLOW RELIGION LIKE A DUMB SHIT
Apparently, a kid who surfaced a religious debate (I should add that I am using that term very loosely) just made fun of me for "following religion." This is like going to into Biology class, saying that DNA is made out of caramel, and calling the class stupid for reading the book when you're exposed.
13lacknight.: I AM HAPPPY U DIE SOON
13lacknight.: GO DO KAMIKAZEE VS THE GUY U JUST BUTT FUCKED LAST NIGHT
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Yes, being able to distinguish two major variations of religion from each other makes me a religion-following ‘DUMB SHIT.’
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Gosu. ^^
GHETTo_oVERLORD: You have about 12 seconds to say something coherent or I’m leaving.
And he takes the initiative! And oh, does it get fucked up after this point.
13lacknight.: lolll
13lacknight.: kk
13lacknight.: HI HITLER
13lacknight.: SEIG HEIL
GHETTo_oVERLORD: So let me get this straight:
13lacknight.: BURN ALL HARABS
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Not only am I a Muslim...
GHETTo_oVERLORD: A Jew...
13lacknight.: a fucker
GHETTo_oVERLORD: But I’m also the sworn enemy of one of those groups...
13lacknight.: when u touch shit
13lacknight.: u get it dirty
GHETTo_oVERLORD: AND about 384 other disparaging comments.
13lacknight.: yes
13lacknight.: for that
13lacknight.: I hope u kamikaze fast
13lacknight.: or just kill ur-self right now
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Oh, and now I’m a Kamikaze!
13lacknight.: wich should be best solution
13lacknight.: since u polluting air (whatever the hell that has to do with anything)
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I’m one of those Jap bastards too, right?
13lacknight.: wow
13lacknight.: u wannabe humaine (what the hell is a humaine? Is he talking about lettuce?)
13lacknight.: u no japs
13lacknight.: u mislim fuck
GHETTo_oVERLORD: You just said I was a Kamikaze.
13lacknight.: ye
GHETTo_oVERLORD: That’s the Japanese word for “divine wind.”
13lacknight.: a terroriste piece of shit
13lacknight.: u muslim scum
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Do you think when you talk or is it kind of instinctive for the jaw to yap?
13lacknight.: we use kamikaze for its meaning in contexte
13lacknight.: not its origine
Remembere, ze contexte, ne'ze origine, terroriste! Haw, haw, French resistance! I'm fairly sure that he hasn't spelled a single word correctly to this point. But I suppose if he makes his points, spelling and grammar aren't relevant factors...
13lacknight.: what kind of dumb muslim ar eu?
13lacknight.: kill ur-self
13lacknight.: now
13lacknight.: NOW
GHETTo_oVERLORD: A dumb Muslim Jew who hails Hitler and commits suicide in the Japanese divine fashion, apparently.
13lacknight.: ur a wannabe jew
...never mind. He just called me a wannabe Jew. He actually did it, after he had been going on for the last ten minutes about how I was a Muslim Jew. Now I'm just a wannabe Muslim Jew...or something.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: So now I’m just a WANNABE Jew.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I go from a Muslim Jew to a wannabe Jew.
13lacknight.: LOOK
13lacknight.: UR
13lacknight.: THE
13lacknight.: WORLDS
13lacknight.: BIGGETS
13lacknight.: FUCKER
That I am. I am the WORLDS BIGGETS FUCKER, in-deedily-doo.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: So that makes me a Muslim who wants to be a wannabe Jew?
13lacknight.: sum1
13lacknight.: kick
13lacknight.: that piece of shit
GHETTo_oVERLORD: If the Jew is my sworn enemy, why would I want to be a wannabe Jew?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Wouldn’t that be like a southern racist who aspires to be a wigger?
And at this point, supporting actresses XboxLive and RandoMTeaM enter stage left.
XboxLive: !FUCK
XboxLive: your a jew?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Apparently so.
RandoMTeaM: ur name should be ghetto_gaylord
RandoMTeaM: gaylord focker
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Yes. Slight alteration of nickname to fit in homosexual comment and direct stealing of a name done much funnier in a movie.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: -3/10
XboxLive and RandoMTeaM exit stage left. They are then abandoned by their parents who leave for their first day of work at the same McDonalds. A love story made in heaven...unfortunately, plus two retarded illegitimate fourteen year old children.
13lacknight.: u gotta be kiding me
Dj_Quickfeet: no sir blacknight
Dj_Quickfeet: sir ghetto needs to chill out
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I don't think you've correctly spelled a single word longer than six letters.
13lacknight.: that fucker needs 2 get nuked
Dj_Quickfeet: oh yeah ?
Dj_Quickfeet: watch this
Dj_Quickfeet: premonition
Dj_Quickfeet: superioritily (I couldn't believe I didn't catch it at the time, but apparently 'superioritily' is not a word.)
Dj_Quickfeet: hahahahaahaha
13lacknight.: you aren't worthy of me correcting my spelling
Dj_Quickfeet: check this spelling
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I was actually referring to Mr. Oppenheimer over here.
For those of you wondering, that was a reference to Robert Oppenheimer, the 'father of the atomic bomb.' It was a pretty lame joke, but if the man saw that his generation had given birth to this idiotic cesspool, he probably would have supported using it to kill everyone.
Dj_Quickfeet: tenacious
Dj_Quickfeet: oppenwhozawhatsits?
Dj_Quickfeet: hahahaah
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I'll let you dwell on that for a little bit.
Dj_Quickfeet: ghetto
Dj_Quickfeet: i am probably more intelligent than you
Stats for Dj_Quickfeet using Warcraft III The Frozen Throne:
- Ladder SOLO, Level 15, Wins 27, Losses 21
You see, the great thing about Warcraft is that no matter how much more intelligent and well-thought out your opponent's argument is, it can always be destroyed by a simple proclamation of their win-loss record. Apparently, the majority of the Warcraft III fan base believes that how smart, good-looking, witty, and personable you are is directly related to your Warcraft III stats. The deep south must have caught a glimpse of George W. Bush's top 20 Warcraft III stats before he won the presidency.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: If you're so intelligent, why did you let your clan get destroyed by a kid incapable of tying his shoes? (Apologies for the constant degradation, but trust me, I wub you, MUGARO.)
Dj_Quickfeet: but then again you are an overlord
Dj_Quickfeet: his what?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: His what?
Dj_Quickfeet: you said tying his
Dj_Quickfeet: and then nothing
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Actually, that was Battle.net being itself. And the fact you can't fill in the fucking blank makes me cry.
13lacknight.: tying hes shooes?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Tying his _____
Dj_Quickfeet: i dunno
GHETTo_oVERLORD: WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS
Dj_Quickfeet: maybe his tie?
13lacknight.: BUTTERFLYS
13lacknight.: BUTTERFLYS
Dj_Quickfeet: incapable of tying his tie?
Dj_Quickfeet: that osunds cooler than shoes to me sir
Dj_Quickfeet: i don't understand why you are so pissed off honestly
Naturally, this comment irked me and required a special type of comeback. A special kind of, shall we say...emotional appeal?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Because the terrorists are trying to subvert our freedoms and Since September 11th we've had to take the offensive so they don't fight us over here?
Dj_Quickfeet: huuuuuuuuuh?
Dj_Quickfeet: you know I'm in the army?
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Well then, good work.
Dj_Quickfeet: what do you think about them crabapples
Dj_Quickfeet: sup
twt-y: what happened?
Dj_Quickfeet: somebody named mugaro
Dj_Quickfeet: stole kenton's acc
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Our leader MUGARO.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: He is a fine lad./
Dj_Quickfeet: and fucked us up
Dj_Quickfeet: don't worry it will be back to normal soon
GHETTo_oVERLORD: A return to normalcy, they say.
Dj_Quickfeet: hahahaha
Dj_Quickfeet: yup
GHETTo_oVERLORD: However, we cannot rest with terrorists attempting to destroy our way of life.
Dj_Quickfeet: exactly ghetto
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I agree/.
Dj_Quickfeet: overlord knows what he is talking about
GHETTo_oVERLORD: 13lacknight doesn't think so.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: He dismissed my factual claims based on my tendency to be a Muslim Jew who supports Hitler and wishes to die by the art of Kamikaze.
Dj_Quickfeet: hahahaha
GHETTo_oVERLORD: It made me upset. -.-
Dj_Quickfeet: man that is kind of funny though
Dj_Quickfeet: if you think about it
I believe it's safe to say I made out pretty well if the child's own clan mate agrees he looked liked a total ass. A TOTAL 13LACKNIGHT 13ADASS.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: In all fairness though, I really do love the new clan room.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Not as roomy as the old one, but shit, it gets the job done.
jim_jordan: ghetto
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Needs curtains.
jim_jordan: are u the bser
jim_jordan: ??
jim_jordan: or 1 of them
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I'm a friend of the revolutionary, but no, I was not directly affiliated in any backstabbing committed to Clan TnRA or its allies.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: If you're just NOW thinking about banning me...
GHETTo_oVERLORD: ...I made enough of an ass of your friend already.
GHETTo_oVERLORD: So it doesn't make a difference.
13lacknight.: HAHAHAHAHA
GHETTo_oVERLORD: I got what I wanted.
13lacknight.: DUDE
13lacknight.: I'm SO SUPERIOR 2 YOU
13lacknight.: ITS ALMOST SAD
GHETTo_oVERLORD: Uh huh.
13lacknight.: sir ?
13lacknight.: sir ?
Stats for 13lacknight. using Warcraft III The Frozen Throne:
- Ladder TEAM, Level 20, Wins 59, Losses 49
- Ladder SOLO, Level 5, Wins 3, Losses 3
13lacknight.: u kiding me
This man has won more games than he lost since the statistics were reset a month and a half ago. This in its own right, given the fact he's not under extreme supervision twenty-four hours a day, is a once-in-a-millenium event. I guess he is SO SUPERIOR 2 ME, ITS ALMOST SAD. At the end of the day, I'm happy to say that, for all of my mental and physical skills, that I didn't end up trying to go through life thinking I was a badass.
A TOTALLY 13ADASS 13LACK NIGHT. OR 13LAC KNIGHT. OR 13LAC--oh, fuck it.
I AM SO INFERIOR 2 U.
Reply With Quote
:hesoff: 
:banana2: 
Originally Posted by Nery
