Jokes

[Deadly_burek]

Flower, i really hope that you will die in near future

[Flower]

Flower, i really hope that you will die in near future

Nice Joke

[Flower]

Here are some more

Hidden Text click here to show

Girl: If we got married, stop smoking..
Boy: Ok!

Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: Ok!

Girl: N going to the night club too.
Boy:- Yes.

Girl:- What else can u leave??
Boy:- The idea of marrying You!

Hidden Text click here to show

Girl Friend : Where Is My Birthday Gift..

Boy Friend : Can You See That Red Hot Ferrari On The Other side Of Road..

Girl Friend : (Extremely Happy) - Yes!

Boy Friend : I Bought Same Color Nail Polish For You :P

Hidden Text click here to show

Wikipedia: I know everything!

Google: I have everything!

Facebook: I know everybody.

Internet: Without me, you all are nothing!

Electricity: Keep talking, guys :P

Hidden Text click here to show

MR.Bean in the Interview

Interviewer:

"Just imagine you are in 3rd floor, suddenly there was a fire!
How will you escape?"
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..
..

MR.Bean:

"Its very simple i will stop imagining!" :P

Hidden Text click here to show

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that my ex-boyfriend was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask my ex-boyfriend". The teacher asked, " What if your ex-boyfriend went to hell?".

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

[Flower]

Here we go again

Some 15 Jokes to Make you guys Happy!!!

Hidden Text click here to show

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned '14.........14.........14.......14.'

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'

The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.

Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.

The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a
loan, how many pounds would you still have?".
"Twenty" came the reply.
"How so?" enquired the teacher.
"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to".

A young boy was teaching mathematics to a young girl, saying that this was his good deed. He kissed her; he then kissed her again; he kissed her a third time adding "There, thats addition". She silently gave him the kisses back sweetly saying " So that will be
substraction?". They then kissed each other at the same time. Both smiled and said together " That's multiplication.” Just at that moment, the young girls father arrived. He kicked him for two blocks exclaiming "That's long division".

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.

Teacher: Suppose, you have offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one you should choose?

Student: Money.

Teacher: I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money?

Student: I have the lack of money that’s why. You have the lack of knowledge. That’s why

Teacher: Why doctors wear a mask when they do an operation?

Student: For safety. If the patient dies, others can’t find out who did the operation.

Teacher: Tell me an example of a creature which can live on water as well as the land.

Student: Frog.

Teacher: Another example.

Student: Another frog.

Teacher: Tom! I know you are bad at spelling. That’s why I told you to write down this sentence 10 times. Why did you write only 4 times?

Tom: Sir, I am bad at math too.

Maths Teacher: A=B, B=C, So A=C.
Prove this method with example.

Student: Teacher, I love u. U love ur daughter. So i love ur daughter,
Thats all

Teacher is explaining to the student,
'if you see someone sinking in the water, you should pull his hair to save him from the water. It will be easy for you.'

Student: but sir, if it happens to you, we shouldn’t help you.

Teacher: why?

Student: because you don’t have any hair.

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
Student:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
Student:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

A teacher to a Parent:
Teacher:Ma'm your son has cheated in his examinations.
Parent:You can prove that I am sure
Teacher:Well put it this way the first answer of your child's partner was yes.
Parent:So that proves nothing .
Teacher:But for the second question your son's partner wrote "i dont know" and your son wrote "neither do I"

[Flower]

Here we go..

A bachelor posted his status on facebook as.....

"WIFE NEEDED"
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2 girls liked it.....
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100 guys commented...
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"TAKE MINE PLEASE" :P

[fatman69]

Seriously dude, enough with the lame jokes, they're really pathetic...

[Flower]

1 .

Hidden Text click here to show

Dad shouts ....."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn..... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!!!

2 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

3 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."

4 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."

5 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A blonde walks into gun shop and says my husband asked me to get him some ammo for his rifle. The clerk asked why and she said when my husband came home I was in the middle of nailing his brother, so he told me he was going to take me into the woods and show me how to shoot a gun.

[the_justice]

i liked ur 3rd and 4th joke keep it up

[Silver.]

1 .

Hidden Text click here to show

Dad shouts ....."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn..... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!!!

2 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

3 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."

4 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."

5 .

Hidden Text click here to show

A blonde walks into gun shop and says my husband asked me to get him some ammo for his rifle. The clerk asked why and she said when my husband came home I was in the middle of nailing his brother, so he told me he was going to take me into the woods and show me how to shoot a gun.

Why did you cross the road ?

[eSsex]

2nd joke is epic ) , for people that understand's it

[[SnX]LycOn]

2nd one is really good

3rd and 4th one , I like them ^^

[CoMMoN]

i have joke also
aledati
hahhahahahahahahahaaahahahaaaahahahaahhhhahahhahha hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhhhhhahahhaahahhahah

[N3KO]

can u belive in this

[Cen]

it was not optimal

[CoMMoN]

once upon a time there was a guy jeandarc, and he didn't feed
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD