Originally Posted by Hypnotic_MKD
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
nice 1
btw hypnotic we have same one but its in garden , not elevator: )
motivational video made by me,.. enjoy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnDFWs0Gq80
Regrets.. I had a few ...
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
LOL
2 friends are talking:
What time it was then... If you just see a woman you must take her for a wife...
I met a girl, I only wanted to have sex with here and then get rid off her
the first part happened but then... I met her father, he said: YOU'LL TAKE HER FOR A WIFE OR ELSE I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER 25 YEARS IN JAIL.
damn I needed to take her for wife or else...
Than the second man asked: So What?
1st man: You know it's 25 anniversary of marigge, I would have been free now
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I like jokes with forest animals, esspecially wolves and rabbits, these are 3 of them:
1. One rabbit was dead drunk and he was sleeping in the forest. 2 wolves found him and they wanted to eat him, but they killed each other for who will eat the rabbit. The other morning the rabbit woke up: DAMN WHAT A FIGHTER AM I, WHEN I AM DRUNK
2. One rabbit was walking in the forest when he saw a wolf in a hole. Then the rabbit tought: what the heck, I will joke with this wolf now. And he told the wolf: Lalalala you can't catch me, retard wolf, stupid wolf, noob(
After some time the rabbit had enough and walked away, but he tought: hmm lets use this situation. And then he came back to the hole: lalalal stupid wolf... and then the rabbit fall in the hole. Then he said: "Wolfi believe or not, I came to apologise!
3. One rabbit(
she said: rabbit don't screw with me. And then the rabbit fired in the air with the maschine gun and the bear do the salsa. Then the rabbit said: bear shit here and eat it! bear again: rabbit dont' screw... RATATATAATA... and suddenly the maschine gun ran out of ammo!
The rabbit said: Screw it bear I'll eat the shit
ok enough, damn pls read at least two of them I wasted time for you to enjoy :closed:
p.s. I knew that you will know
Last edited by Artificial; 4th September 2006 at 05:54 PM.
k-152 friends are talking:
What time it was then... If you just see a woman you must take her for a wife...
I met a girl, I only wanted to have sex with here and then get rid off her
the first part happened but then... I met her father, he said: YOU'LL TAKE HER FOR A WIFE OR ELSE I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER 25 YEARS IN JAIL.
damn I needed to take her for wife or else...
Than the second man asked: So What?
1st man: You know it's 25 anniversary of marigge, I would have been free now
---------------------------------------------------------nooby
Why did the soup cross the road?
Because it was CHICKEN soup!
I am stupid,but when i look around i get courage!!!
is that a joke?I am stupid,but when i look around i get courage
For the last fight with my wife it was my fault.She asked me "whats on the TV"?
-I answered "Dust".
How can u notice that some man is preparing for the future?
-He is buying two packages beer.
Why gnomes can't play football?
-The grass is tickling their balls.
Why blonde gets discharged from a sperm bank?
-Becouse she was drinking at work.
Whats the difference between terorist and woman?
-With terorist u can negotiate.
Whats the difference between menstruation and payment?
-There is no difference.U get it every month, it lasts for a week, and the u can fuck yourself.
Q: How can you make your girlfriend scream twice?
A: First take her in the ass and then wipe your member clean on the curtains!
Why mens have hair on the chest?
-Becouse they are pussys in the soul.
Every animal if it bleeds 7 days will die, exept the woman she's bleeding every month for 7 days and she's not dieing.
-So she's not animal.She is a monster!!! (No offence girls
Why womens use make up?
-Becouse mens sight is much more stronger than his brain.
What is pig?
-It's a piggy that made it in his life.
What gipsy does on the PC?
-He is looking into the Recycle Bin.
What is the programer saying when he gets attacked by robbers?
-F1...F1...F1...F1.
LOL! u have a weird humor but those are funnyWhy gnomes can't play football?
-The grass is tickling their balls.
Why blonde gets discharged from a sperm bank?
-Becouse she was drinking at work.
Whats the difference between terorist and woman?
-With terorist u can negotiate.
Whats the difference between menstruation and payment?
-There is no difference.U get it every month, it lasts for a week, and the u can fuck yourself.
Q: How can you make your girlfriend scream twice?
A: First take her in the ass and then wipe your member clean on the curtains!
Lmaooo The one with the terrorists Owns :P But we negociate ;((( ( sometimes
xpam will never die! old school ftw!
Black Humor - not recomendable for those with weak heart
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1.Have you ever think about that to sue your brain becouse he's not giving you any assistance?
2.How did you get here?Who let the cage open?
3.If i was having face like yours i was going to sue my parents.
4.I will never forget the moment when we met, but anyway ill keep trying.
5.Im blonde and whats your excuse?
6.When GOD throwed the inteligence u've must have been carrying umbrella.
7.Your breasts are so big, thats why u must wear a badge so everyone can see which side is front.
8.Your house is so small that u must eat the big pizza outside.
9.Do you know what god said to the good fu**ers?Well, ofc you dont.
10.Can i borrow ur face for 10 days, while my ass is on vacation.
11.From this joke ur breasts go smaller and smaller, oops u've already heard that joke...
12.Your wife is pregnant?Congatulations, so whos the father?
13.Girl : Hey boy, you play chess?
Boy : Little, why?
Girl :Well, my dad is not giving queen for horse.
14.Boy : Do you girl have breasts?
Girl : Yes i have.
Boy : Then why arent you carrying them with you?
15.I feel sorry for your father. Im sure he is regreting whole his life why he didnt jerked you out when he chould.
16.Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
17.Do you speak any language that non-gibbering idiots can understand?
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Father and little boy are walking and they stop infront of candyshop.
-Daddy buy me some cookies.
-Show me which ones and ill buy them.
-But daddy i dont have hands.
-Hahaha no hands no cookies!
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Dad buy me a fish.
U dont need it, u got cancer.
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The father was standing next to the window and he was watching the kids playing football.Suddenly he said to his son which was in wheelchair :
-Son why dont you go outside and play football with the other kidz?
-But dad i dont have legs.
-LOL im just joking.
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A guy is going to doctor for medical help.But the doctor is leaving.
-Doc please help me im bleeding!
-I work till 3pm, sorry.
-Im dieing doc!
-As i said my work time finishes in 3pm and thats it!
-But im gonna bleed to death, please help me!!!
The doctor goes behind him, pulling the knife out of his back and stabs it in his eye.
-Now go to eye doctor he works till 5pm!!!
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One silent night in Chernobil...The kid is asking his grandfather:
-Grandpa, Grandpa! What happened here before few years ago? Everyone knows exept me...
-Nothing, nothing grandson...caressing him over the heads.
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There was little (B)brother and (S)sister, but the poor girls was having leukemia so her parents were buying her everything that she asked for.
(S):Mom i want bicycle.-Her mom buys her a bicycle.
(B):Mom can i have bicycle too?-NO you cant!
one month passes
(S):mom mom can i get PC plsssssss.-She gets PC
(B):I want too!-No, you cant have PC.
one more month passes
(S):mom i want tv in my room can i have one?-Ofc u can,she buys TV for her doughter.
(B):Mom can you buy one TV for me too?-No but i bought a yo-yo for you.
now the sister is starting to laugh at her brother:
(S):SOMEONE has bicycle, SOMEONE has nothing,
(S):SOMEONE has PC, SOMEONE has nothing,
(S):SOMEONE has TV, SOMEONE has nothing, lalalala!
the boy is standing on the door, calmly playing with his yo-yo and says
(B):SOMEONE has yo-yo, SOMEONE has leukemia
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Son : Mom can i play with little trucks and cars?
Mom: No you cant, go and play in the sand.
Son : Mom, will the sand cure my leukemia?
Mom: No my son, but that way ull faster get used to earth.
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I didnt ment to offend or insult someone with these jokes, and sorry if i did.
Simply some of them are funny...be sure that i didnt invented them
Last edited by Dragan; 6th October 2006 at 05:52 AM.
hahaha lol
xpam will never die! old school ftw!
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