Jokes

[DA_SASQUA4]

2 blondes are talkin about the New year evening:
1st blonde: New year day will be friday.
2nd blonde responds: LOL, I hope it isnt friday the 13th.

What would a bulgarian, an english and a french do with 100 apples.
the english - i would give the apples to 100 poor children in my town.
the french - i would give the apples to 100 beautiful girls in my town.
the bulgarian - i will eat as much as i can and when my stomache is full i will bite the other apples so no1 eats them and then i'll throw them away.

[[romance][89]]

juzz imagine your dry shit fuck into your tide asshole n try to feel it care fully

[[addict][46]]

lol.that was harsh.

[Artificial]

I remember this joke from the movie ''The nutty professor'' with Eddie Murphy

ofc, hehe

[fatman69]

your mama is so fat that she never crosses the street, she's always on both sides

[[SyS]-SlayeR]

haha ) fatman

[fatman69]

old farmer noticed one day his rooster was getting old so he decided to buy a new one. he buys a real young beast. he puts him with other chicken and he starts fu**ing all the chicks leaving nothing to old rooster. one day old one comes to young rooster and gives him a proposal :"we race each other and if I win u give me one chicken and if u win u get all of them and i get the hell outta here" . young rooster figures he has nothing to lose so he agrees. old rooster just asks if he could get a 3m head start because he's very old. young one gives him even a bigger lead figuring he ll catch him in 3 sec. they start racing and all of a sudden farmer shoots the young rooster saying "GODDAMNIT!! this is the 3rd gay rooster i bought this month!!!!

[d3ath_2_guta]

owned

[d3ath_2_guta]

Marie: " John are you sleeping? "
John : " No my dear "
Marie: " John,do you love me? "
John: " I'm sleeping "

[fatman69]

What does a female elephant use as a tampon??

SHEEP

[d3ath_2_guta]

George is walking on the street and meets a friend who askes George:
" George,i heard that your mother-in-law died . What did she have?"
"Some julery,a TV and some savings"
"Not that,what did she missed?"
"Well a car,and a house on private property"
"George...WHY DID SHE DIED?"
"She was at our house visiting and i told her to go to the celler to get some potatoes so we could mash them. She fell down the staires and broke her neck."
"That's AWFUL. So what did u do?
"Macaroni and cheese"

[_Spartan_]

nice one

[memo0o]

yea so funny

[FiRezzzz]

Here's an old one but funny :
Egyptian football giant Al-Ahli signed an Iraqi wonder kid,known to be the next Maradona,he joins the team and in his first game he scores a hat-trick,he calls his mom to tell her about his amazing start,he calls her and says "mom,you won't believe what happened today,I scored a hat-trick in my first game with the club"
His mom with a very disturbed voice : "argh,OK,good for you !"
He asks : "mom,what's wrong?"
She answers : "well, you were playing and living your dream,while your father got gang banged today after going to work,your sister got raped and your brother got shot"
He says : "oh my God,I don't know what to say"
she answers with a very angry and loud voice "I TOLD YOU LEAVING IRAQ AND MOVING TO CAIRO WAS A BAD IDEA !!!"
P:S: such things don't really happen in Cairo,I had to change this part of the joke before someone takes it personally and accuse me of being an idiot and a racist.
He says : "oh my

[RockNation]

Why does a cock laugh when he sees a cat that falls in water? Simple, because when there's a wet pussy there will always be happy cock .